Good-Bye

Sometimes I read Kelli's blogs ( I accidently typed Keeli just then which is what I voted for to be your name oops!). She is a great writer. This past week Kelli said goodbye to an old friend. I have to admit I immediately teared up. If you know me, you know that used to be my nature, immediate flowing wetness from the eyes. Following many petitions for that to be taken away from me, it was, for awhile. I mean I could flow over the silliest things. Mostly, the petitioning worked and I've become a closet crier, this may be the closet I'm not willing to come out of. Kelli said goodbye to her favorite t-shirt of many years, I recognized it right away in the picture posted on her blog. Kelli, I am truly sorry for your loss. May I suggest an American Apparel t-shirt to take its place? They are nice and soft. While I know that no other t-shirt can take the place of this one, I hope you find joy and comfort in a new soft garment!
I am also thinking it's time to say good-bye, at least for now, to something that has had a special place in my life for the last year or so. I wish it was a shirt. It isn't anything concrete, no one ever saw it but it was good for awhile. A few people already assumed I had said my good-bye in recent weeks but until now I wasn't ready. Such is life and if it ever comes back again, perhaps I'll wake up and embrace it once more. But for now, so long, and I'll move on to the tasks set before me, whether they be a room full of first graders, a corporate position (won't hold my breath) or serving coffee at the local chain with all the other green aprons, it's all good in the hood, affectionately known as Camelot.

Saturday Night's the Night I Like

If you have an eclectic taste in music or are as old as I am you can finish the verse to the title of this blog! Late 70's .
It seems like Saturday nights are the nights my mind just takes off on a free ride. In reviewing the past blogs I've written, it seems maybe I have been a bit down.
So it's time for a change!
There are many things that bring joy to my heart. This summer I have been blessed to experience heart joy at two different church camps! I can't think of too many things in life that bring more joy to my soul than watching teens praise the Lord. Teens with outstretched arms, heads thrown back, singing at the top of their lungs, praising God. Or teens bowed in prayer, offering their hearts to God and accepting His forgiveness, His grace, and His salvation.
Some will say it's just the "church camp" experience that will soon fade away. Even if that is true, I can't accept that those times of surrender won't leave some lasting impression on their heart and soul. Maybe they won't even be aware of that imprint until some day when they least expect it and that memory shows up at just the right moment to offer a renewed hope in a crucial time in their life. Even they recognize the possibility that this "fire for God" is momentary. You could hear them pray, "Please God, don't let this pass when we leave camp, show us how to take it into our schools, our youth group, our families, and our activities."
That is a cry that should be acted on by all of us. We can't afford to leave our kids at the doorstep of the Youth Room and hope that something there continues to guide them. It is up to all of us to be an example to them, to be a prayer warrior for them, to build relationships with them, to hold them accountable, to play with them, to share scripture with them and to love them unconditionally. They are not just our future, they are our present, already engaging in the battlefield everyday. Thank God for kids!!

To Write or Not to Write

There is so much in my head right now that needs to come out. I have this unusual desire to write it all down. The problem is no one else would get it so what would be the point of posting a blog? Just my own personal satisfaction? Or is it just to put off lying in a bed staring at the ceiling until sleep overtakes my mind? I have to write something because I'm not ready for the ceiling just yet. But my thoughts are not His thoughts right now so I'll go with something else, just to see if it will satisfy my mind yet keeping it light at the same time.
1. Happy Feet
2. Pierced my nose with Julie
3. Missed the Village tonight, maybe tomorrow night?
4. Learned about old manuscripts that replaced middle s's with f's and have been having fun with that.
5. Be fill my foul, Turn your Eyef upon Jefuf, The More I Feek you, Praife the Name of Jefuf, Fafe and Found,Fanctuary, Faved by Grace, Fing, Fing, Fing, Fine Jefuf Fine, just to name a few
church songs with this type of letter replacement.
6. Ran the trails to Chandler teaching about "Hope in the real World" again, why do I listen to something that make me think?
7. Bought some new music. Now have to learn it for the trivia game.
8. Fell asleep on table earlier today, that 30 minutes prolly ruined my sleep!
9. Finished camp laundry.
10. Number one event of day...fewer tears.

If you are fill reading fis, you will be fatified to know I may be able to fleep now. I think I have fucceffully tricked my mind into thinking I've done fomething worthwhile.

All Rise,Wake up O sleeper, turn your eyes upon Jesus, and see him Shine Jesus Shine.
The Joy of the Lord will be my Strength and Above All else We will declare that the Kingdom is here.

Refusing to say good bye, just see ya later!

Pride

Oh so many things to think about with a title like this. Pride. I've been allowed the privilege today of looking at the pride of some kings back in the day. That's what happens when you get behind in a study, you play catch up and become saturated with the topic. Interestingly enough, the kings that seem to have the most difficulty with pride were the same kings who could have had and enjoyed every blessing from God. In fact, they did enjoy blessings and victories as long as they called on the Lord. But the more they conquered and claimed victory, the less they relied on God. Soon their prideful nature became their demise.

So I have to ask myself, "Self, what is the pride in your life?" Truthfully, I think my pride has been shot to hell lately. So that's a good start, right? The thing is I have discovered that my biggest problem (sin if you will) is that I think God should answer my prayers now, in my time frame and in the way I want them answered. Don't worry about the lightening while you are reading this, God knows and He is at work in me and on me. But isn't that what we learn and teach in our society? I want this and I want it now! Really there aren't too many material things in life that intrigue me, especially to the point of pride. I think my problem is that I want to know and feel I am appreciated by others and by God. I have felt lately that God is holding out on me. Like He brought me to this beautiful place in life and said it's good, enjoy, learn, have fun again, indulge in scripture and in all your 100's of questions with a spiritual confidant, drink it up! And I did! And it was good! And I said "Thank you", over and over again. He said, It was good. Was? Come on God. This ought to stay mine for now. You said it is good. You've seen the change in me. Can't I be Hezekiah? He got more. Give me more. That is my sinful, prideful spirit. You see, I'm not on my deathbed like Hezekiah was. This isn't the end of my life. It's just my sin.

The other side of this story is a great opportunity for a woman of God. A woman who knows that faith is not without fear but what we do with that fear. A woman whose convictions and core won't let her give in to being complacent. One who is seeking the Lord with all her heart even though the call takes her away from family and friends, at least in distance, she's willing to go and step out in complete faith. A woman I consider friend and anamchara.

Shame on me. God, You are the giver of every good and perfect gift. Your timing is not mine, it is way more perfect. I don't know that I will ever understand it but I understand and claim that You are a Holy God. Heal me of my pride and more importantly, shower my friend with every good and perfect gift from above.

Masquerade

"Masquerading around day after day as a normal person is exhausting." Is it any wonder the author of this quote wishes to remain anonymous? If we believe we are living in a masquerade or "behind a mask", isn't that the first clue that we don't want anyone to know the real person? I think at times we can hide behind the mask for so long, we look in the mirror and no longer recognize the face staring back at us. What happens in life that we purposely dress for the masquerade and then forget to ever get out of costume? I suppose it is life itself that happens. In a true masquerade type mask, the only covered part of the face is the eyes. The eyes tell our story. They show what's in our heart. They send out rays of laughter, tears of joy, and glimpses of peace. The eyes well to the brim with warm tears and cry with pain, sorrow, grief, confusion, hurt feelings, disenchantment, the list goes on. Sometimes they appear hollow or deep set. On good days, they are wide open, filled with excitement, surreal with hope and passion and fixed on "the prize." Some say a life well lived is defined by the creases formed around our eyes that appear everytime we smile or laugh. When then do we find it necessary to "masquerade as a normal person to the point of exhaustion?" Perhaps it is anytime we look anywhere but up. IICor. 4:18 says..." as we fix our eyes not on the things that are seen BUT on the things that are unseen". When we take our eyes off Jesus, we lose our hope. Our little world becomes lost and we put on the mask and head off to the masquerade, hoping to hide our eyes and to appear as a normal person. Sometimes the "party" goes longer than we anticipated and our vision eventually becomes so blurred, we feel lost forever. Sometimes it takes that special person who may ask a question as simple as "How can I be praying for you?", that reminds us to take off the mask and just be real. Ps. 121:1-2 "I lift my eyes up to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, who made the heaven and the earth." Let your eyes be uncovered and looking up. Who needs normal?

Thumbs and moms

Who or what do you take for granted in your life? How about...your thumbs? Do you take your thumbs for granted? Where would you be without your thumbs? I challenge you for one day to tape your thumbs back so that you can't use them. What would it be like to floss your teeth? Try sending a text message without your thumbs. Give me a "high five!" Sorry, only four today! How about snapping? Can you hold a pen? Ever try buttoning, zipping, or tying a bow without your thumbs? Cutting with scissors or a knife for that matter, becomes impossible.
You get the point. We should be overjoyed everyday with thankfulness that God blessed humans with opposable thumbs.
There are also people in our lives that we take for granted. Parents, specifically mothers!
Many times our moms are so driven by their love for us and their desire for us to succeed - they "get on our nerves." We go to bed every night, feeling assured they will still be there in the morning to wake us up, fix our breakfast, make our lunch, remind us to brush and floss...etc. We take for granted we will see them when we wake up, whether we want to or not.
Like many teens, I took my mom for granted. She was the typical mom for that day. A stay at home mom, cooked three meals a day and usually a dessert, cleaned the house, did the laundry and ironing, ran errands and kept every body's schedules on track. And was always "dressed" to the hilt! Of course, mom always had time to sit down and hear about our day. She pretended not to notice when I set my watch back for extra bike time,mom told the best jokes, and let me learn about bouillon cubes in my own way!
When I was about 10, mom developed breast cancer. She had a mastectomy. Mom was a trooper. She downplayed the whole event, acted as if it were nothing, just a way to cure her. And it did, for a while. In November 1975, the cancer returned. Again, mom had this superhuman attitude. The doctors removed what they could and began chemotherapy. The only time I saw her cry was the first time she lost her hair, but being mom, she bought a couple of wigs and found joy in changing her look from time to time.
On March 2, 1976, I woke up for the first time not taking mom for granted. We had stayed up late the night before. I rubbed mom's feet and we talked about the first concert I would be going to the next evening. I told her goodnight for the last time that night. I am so thankful for the time we spent together on her bed, just talking and getting to snuggle next to her. She was gone by morning.
I hope you will stop right now and take a good look at your thumbs and think of your mom. What would you do without her? Tell her what she means to you. Hug her everyday and let her know she is loved and appreciated. Allow her time in your life and allow her time in her own life too. Speak kindly to her and of her, always. Hold her hand in public.
You are here because your mom chose to give you life. She loves you.

Thumbs up for mom!