Pride

Oh so many things to think about with a title like this. Pride. I've been allowed the privilege today of looking at the pride of some kings back in the day. That's what happens when you get behind in a study, you play catch up and become saturated with the topic. Interestingly enough, the kings that seem to have the most difficulty with pride were the same kings who could have had and enjoyed every blessing from God. In fact, they did enjoy blessings and victories as long as they called on the Lord. But the more they conquered and claimed victory, the less they relied on God. Soon their prideful nature became their demise.

So I have to ask myself, "Self, what is the pride in your life?" Truthfully, I think my pride has been shot to hell lately. So that's a good start, right? The thing is I have discovered that my biggest problem (sin if you will) is that I think God should answer my prayers now, in my time frame and in the way I want them answered. Don't worry about the lightening while you are reading this, God knows and He is at work in me and on me. But isn't that what we learn and teach in our society? I want this and I want it now! Really there aren't too many material things in life that intrigue me, especially to the point of pride. I think my problem is that I want to know and feel I am appreciated by others and by God. I have felt lately that God is holding out on me. Like He brought me to this beautiful place in life and said it's good, enjoy, learn, have fun again, indulge in scripture and in all your 100's of questions with a spiritual confidant, drink it up! And I did! And it was good! And I said "Thank you", over and over again. He said, It was good. Was? Come on God. This ought to stay mine for now. You said it is good. You've seen the change in me. Can't I be Hezekiah? He got more. Give me more. That is my sinful, prideful spirit. You see, I'm not on my deathbed like Hezekiah was. This isn't the end of my life. It's just my sin.

The other side of this story is a great opportunity for a woman of God. A woman who knows that faith is not without fear but what we do with that fear. A woman whose convictions and core won't let her give in to being complacent. One who is seeking the Lord with all her heart even though the call takes her away from family and friends, at least in distance, she's willing to go and step out in complete faith. A woman I consider friend and anamchara.

Shame on me. God, You are the giver of every good and perfect gift. Your timing is not mine, it is way more perfect. I don't know that I will ever understand it but I understand and claim that You are a Holy God. Heal me of my pride and more importantly, shower my friend with every good and perfect gift from above.